2. Slipknots are called like that for a reason
3. The last bolt of 8 holding the gangway platform up, will let go when a pilot stands on it
4. Gangway platforms that were severely stuck, will suddenly give way when a pilot steps on it
5. Rain always starts 5 minutes before the pilot transfer
6. Wind will start blowing 5 minutes prior to ETA pilot station
7. If there is a way to rig a pilotladder wrong, someone will do so eventually
8. The day you forget your helmet a twistlock will fall down from the vessel you’re attempting to board
9. Automatic lifejackets will inflate automatically at the moment you absolutely don’t want them to
10. From all ways to rig a ladder, the wrong way is the easiest
11. Whenever several things can go wrong, the one that causes most damage will
12. Every solution breeds new problems
13. It’s impossible to make a foolproof pilot ladder securing device because fools are so ingenious
14. You cannot legislate for stupidity
15. Probability of a bow thruster failure is inversely proportionally to distance with the quay
16. If everything seems to be going well, you’re overlooking something
17. The chances of the pilot launch scratching the paint of a vessel is directly proportional to the cost and date of the last drydock paintjob
18. A shortcut to the bridge is always the longest distance between 2 points
19. When you eliminate 4 ways on which a pilotladder can be rigged wrong, a fifth way you’re unprepared for will promptly develop
20. You’re always against the current until you’re almost there
21. Wind is not your friend
22. A safe lee is non existing
23. When there is a chance of getting wet during transfer, you will
24. Pilot launches are exponentially stronger than ankles
MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST